October 2018: Gratitude

October was a month that forever changed my life. So many things shifted. I’m not ready to talk about all of them yet, but it’s all good. Here are the things I was grateful for:

Getting better at knowing what I want.
House chips with ranch at Free House.
Taking off heels after wearing them all day.

Tosha, Jeremy, Rose, Kai, Genesis, Dazon.
Soft socks, sweatpants, hooded sweatshirt.
Home to Mugs and Jane and Austen.

Plants perking up, despite the weather.
Hooded sweatshirt, morning walk.
Writing at my desk, a gift, a treat.

Cobweb on a street sign, caught in the sunlight.
Squash, eucalyptus, vanilla-fragrant fall.
Heavy quilt, soft velvet couch.

So many red and orange leaves on the sidewalk.
Brainstorming sessions.
The first real rainy day of the season.

Being the loud table, being with friends.
Hugging Anne Marie in the hallway.
Jeff coming to pick me up and take care of me.

A CBD puppacino for Mugs.
Reading on the couch with Mugs & Jeff napping.
Lavender epsom salt bath.

Painting signs, working with my hands.
Red leaves all over the sidewalk.
The lady who stopped to look at the leaves.

Taking a moment to sit in the sun.
Watching Jeff work.
A family photo, a family in politics.

Porridge for breakfast, slow cooked.
Pizza, macaroni, chips & cheese.
Steamy windows returned to me.

Moments of great sadness.
Epsom salt baths.
Late night poems coming out.

Ravens at the zine fest reminding me of you.
Jeff putting film in his camera.
Decorative light switch covers.

Kissing in the street.
Zines and used books.
Buttons from Jeff’s mom.

Breakfast outside with Jeff’s parents.
Kayaking, fall colors, seeing my first seal.
Being with a living creature in its final moments, offering it a blessing and comfort.

FaceTime with Giselle and Ezra.
Butternut squash soup.
Cozy socks, heavy quilt, hot rice pack.

Respiratory tea + The Office.
Morning bath.
Coffee with chai, reading Harry Potter in the morning.

Beautiful fall colors outside my windows.
Acknowledgment at work, worthiness.
A hard thing being easier than expected.

Co-workers like family.
Napping when tired.
A very good massage.

A kiss on the forehead.
Potato bacon soup.
Taking time to sit and listen to my voice.

A reassuring visit to therapy.
Lemon water & peppermint tea.
Jane healing well.

Relief from a bad headache, Jeff staying awake with me.
Jeff’s mom saying to call her if I need anything.
Writing at my desk in the morning with coffee.

Crying and saying I love yous.
Sugar maple leaves turning, changing too.
All the blankets piled on the bed.

A little heartbeat flicker.
Afternoon nap with Mugs.
Fage yogurt, coconut water, not being sick.

Letting go of grief with a good cry.
Foreheads pressed together.
Not ready, but game.

A good therapy appointment.
An unapologetic fountain Coke.
Rainy, gray weather suitable for staying indoors.

When Jeff surprises me.
Eating potato chips in bed.
Oversized fleece blanket.

Breaking down canvass packs.
Taking time for myself at the end of a long day.
Taking time to make tea and drink it.

Making rest the priority.
Plants thriving, even with less water and sun.
Laura and Mugs’ first meeting.

Soup made by Laura.
Tantrums made better by foreheads pressed together.
An Do bringing me snacks.

Fleece blanket with quilt and Mugs on top.
Giselle’s art in my living room.
Jane returning to her cuddly self.

Surviving this month.
Surviving this month.
Surviving this month.

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