August 2018: Gratitude

Photo by Jeff Hammond

August was for trying to slow down. I think a lot of people feel rushed and panicky in August –  fall is coming! For me, right now, fall means election season, which can quickly turn into 60 hour work weeks, eating shitty food, and not taking care of myself. This August, I’m also adjusting to a new relationship, processing a lot in therapy, and my first and truest friend in Portland moved away. I’m glad I practiced simple ways of slowing down this month: staying in bed late, drinking a glass of water as a single task, spending time with friends, and letting myself be where I am, emotionally and physically.

Here are some of the other things I was grateful for:

Making my coffee again – comfort in routine.
The en– and em— dashes.
Korean BBQ + red wine with Annie.

Comfort + ease with therapist.
Food cooked on a grill, friends gathered around a grill.
Curbside hug.

Puanesca + writing at Pizzicato.
Car fixed, a mechanic I trust.
Deciding on a 90/10 approach.

Taking photos at Kelley Point, being seen.
Swimming, or at least wading.
Mugs snuggled between us.

Coffee + TV while in the bathtub.
Picking out vintage friendship photographs.
Finding the perfect card for a friend.

Sarah going on a really nice date.
Olivia getting a new job.
Someone trusting me with their biggest secret.

Film photography in the park.
Peanut M&Ms.
Striving for less financial anxiety, recognizing it.

Pillows arranged for sleep.
Charcuterie board with blueberries.
Dressing comfortably for the weather.

A last Pocket Pub hurrah with Annie.
Lavender cold brew.
Mugs with his raccoon.

Late night lounging at The Palace.
My bed – its blankets, pillows, comfort.
Bookstore dreams.

Being with Annie during her moving day.
Talking more about my bookstore dreams.
Watching the first half of The Last Jedi.

Slow Sunday morning with coffee + journal on couch.
A well-organized budget with a spreadsheet.
Apartment re-arranged in small ways, fresh perspectives.

Fajitas, sharing my kitchen.
Austen’s wrinkly nose, insistent need to be pet.
Intimacy with someone else’s shoulders, freckles, earlobes.

Slowing down, evaluating, learning to say no.
Sleeping animals around me all day.
Hot baths, raspberry tea, rice pack.

Being of for jobs.
A nice glass of wine at Jo Rotisserie.
Feelings on the fire escape.

Getting the parking spot in front of my building.
Dark lake photos.
Te echo de menos.

Having a person in a big group.
Mugs with a knee cap.
A sleepover.

Cool breezes while canvassing.
Getting a ride in an air-conditioned car.
Internet, at last.

Knitting and folding paper.
Two baths, one big meltdown.
Healing, however it looks and hurts.

Catching up at my desk with coffee.
Grilled cheese and tomato soup.
Curling up in bed to watch the Mindy Project.

Making a new resume and realizing all I’ve done.
Making dinner for myself, sitting down to eat it.
Time alone and not hating it.

Knowing and being right.
Not going to bed upset.
Accidental I love yous, but also maybe on purpose.

Developing a budget system.
Cooler weather – such a gift.
Watching the tree tops move at night.

Work on a Saturday made fun.
Sleeping in until 11am.
Not being in a rush.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.
Gray skies with a covered sun.
A misty rain while driving on the highway.

Heavy quilt + napping.
Living through panic + trauma.
Being Jeff’s girlfriend.

Maple tree as motif.
Tall glasses of water, trying to slow down.
Coconut oil + lavender bath.

Liberated playing in the hallway.
Spider web in sugar maple, catching sun, rainbow.
Sunny kitchen, grinding coffee.

Leftover watercolor on desk.
Coffee at home, coffee at work.
Unmade bed.

The promise of staycation tomorrow.
Cardigan as safety blanket.
Mugs’ soft snores.

Jam with Jeff.
English muffins and jelly.
All the pets sleeping in bed.


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