May 2018: Gratitude

May was, in true form, about growing. I ran my first field campaign (and won by 72%) while also starting to tip-toe around discussing my childhood trauma at therapy. If I could have timed those things better, I would have, but it seems this is how life works. Everything, all at once. I learned a lot this month about healthy forms of coping.

I had to take really good care of myself – healthy foods, hot baths, lavender everything. I also did a REALLY BRAVE THING and went camping by myself for the first time. I started planning some new things on that trip, and I’m not quite ready to share them, but I am really excited.

Here are some other little gratitudes:

Sugar maple! Finally revealed, fully bloomed.
My own pillow, bed, and shower.
Feeling connected to my friends again.

Raspberry scone & coffee respite.
A free microwave – hot rice pack at last.
Lavender plant, pieces sprinkled in a hot bath.

Birkenstocks during a busy week of phone banks.
Mugs curling up behind my knees.
Sugar snap peas.

Grapefruit candle.
Mugs laying in the sun.
Cats in the windowsill, watching the leaves.

Trees all fully bloomed, a tree house cocoon.
Vintage dress from William Temple – feeling beautiful.
A full night’s safe sleep.

Bookshelves: building them, styling them.
Vitamin E oil.
Farmer’s market – samples, lilacs, beeswax candles.

Finished house projects – always settling in.
Bookshelves at night, so cozy.
Reading instead of watching TV.

Baths with coconut & vitamin E oil.
Good bread from the farmer’s market.
Being held.

A green smoothie & harvest bowl.
Tea at a phone bank instead of Coke.
Tiny alter featuring Buddha to guard me during sleep.

Little orange coffee mug filled with water.
Therapy two days in a row.
Gentle cups of jasmine green tea.

Drinks with friends outside.
Tiny alter placed in window, by bed.
Friends and extra stiff gin drinks.

Agnes Martin, Nude in Sunlit Wood, museum.
Lavender ice cream.
A tin cup for camping.

Matte white walls, painting as meditation.
Couch moved to a new spot, new perspective.
Cleaning up after a long, hard day’s work.

Quiet mornings re-setting before work.
Laying out clothes, feeling prepared.
High-waisted underwear.

Winning by over 70%
Champagne toasts and cheese with Annie.
A two hour mid-day nap.

Exploring new places.
Portland Button Works. A spark.
North Portland – slower.

Hot dogs broiled on the stove.
Chips and dip.
Finally sitting down with the notebook.

Eating the hot dog that fell in the fire.
Evening sunlight hanging in the trees.

Hiking to Soda Creek Falls, drinking the water.
Mugs hopping up rocks like a little goat.
BRAVER planning.

Rain starting just as I left the campground.
Camp coffee.
Driving back to classical music.

Three new posts, three little wishes.
Thrifting at William Temple.
Sleeping in, strawberry lemonade.

Lavender and salted caramel ice cream post-blood draw.
Sun on my shoulder.
Leaves swishing against the windows.

Celestial face lotion from LUSH.
Mugs laying down on the floor next to the couch.
Knitting a soft, beige unknown object, a square.

Pale pink toenails.
My therapist saying I seemed “bright.”
Coconut oil on skin, muscles relaxed.

Cozy gray robe and well-worn slippers.
Vegan intake app.
Pictures of Vivian.

Mugs on lap at Coffee Time while writing at 7am.
Rabbit stamp, mailing zines to Small Supply.
Walking in This World, such poignant reminders.

Veggie marsala burger with sauteed onions and kale.
Maroon cardigan.
Migrating early, planning ahead.

Long arm stapler, paints, supplies from SCRAP.
Moss green ink, stamps, bees wax.
Crossing projects off the list.

Linda calling me to make me go to the PPAO breakfast.
Canvas curtains.
Watches and belts that fit just right.

All the blankets on the bed.
A nice, quiet evening playing Sims 2.
Faint smell of beeswax, flowers in window.


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